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There is something magical about an angry mob shouting
profanities. Or printing them boldly on a sandwich board sign. But
without practice, it's hard to know what you're 'Hey-Hey-Ho-Ho'ing and what
specifically you are wanting, and when, in fact, your are wanting it to
happen.
Here's a little sample of some of the more popular
non-Gregorian chants of our day
“Hey Hey – Ho Ho: Imperialism Has
Got To Go”
This is an oldie, but a goodie. Sub-in anything for “Imperialism.” Like:
“The Oil-Lobby,” “Bush,” “Cheney,” “MSNBC News commentator Laura Ingraham”
“What do we want?” “Peace” “When
do we want it?” “Now!”
This is also an oldie, but what are you going to do? Since we currently
have “peace” right “now”, (if you, like everyone else, ignores those daily
No-Fly-Zone strikes), it’s kind of like a fortune cookie that informs you
that you enjoy riches. Still, “When do we want it?” “Following the March 7
U.N. Report By Hans Blix” just doesn’t seem catchy enough.
Last Time We Listened To A Bush,
We Wandered Around The Desert For 40 Years.
Takes a bit of time to say, write or
understand, unless you’re kind of religious, but not so religious that
equating the President to the disembodied miracle of God is neither
sacrilegious, creepy, or awfully complimentary.
“No Blood For Oil”
Brit Hume of Fox News was complaining a few weeks ago that he didn’t
understand this one. I know how he feels. It’s just so vague and convoluted
in its message! What could it ever mean?! Damn subtle protesters!
“Drop Bush (or Acid) Not Bombs”
With the “Bush” line, you have some
alliteration, and a double anti-war, anti-Bush message. With the latter, you
have a very outdated notion, since nobody “drops” acid anymore. They “roll”
E, or “candy-flip” or “pass U.N. resolutions” to achieve states of higher
consciousness.
“Regime Change Begins At Home”
I assume they mean Bush, but they could also
be referring to my Dad. Or our one cat, that’s white, who bosses around the
other two cats.
“Buck Fush”
This isn’t really war specific, and it’s point
is awfully diluted given how close it is to a “Pobody’s Nerfect” bumper
sticker.
1-2-3-4 We don’t want your racist
war”
I suppose the racism is based upon the fact
it’s against Arabs, which would make it more of an Anti-Semitic war,
although most equate that phrase solely with anti-Jewish sentiment. On the
plus side, you get the rest of the line, which we used in summer camp:
“5-6-7-8 in Cabin H they masturbate.”
“This is what democracy looks
like”
Maybe the hope by chanting this is that the
Iraqis will see what a Democracy Looks Like, and then not need the US to
invade and make them have one. The converse of this chant is “This is what a
police state looks like” is usually shouted when the cops arrive to protect
storefronts, and maybe the hope is that the Iraqis will see what a Police
State looks like, and then not need the US military to occupy them and make
them have another one of those, too.
“The People, United, Will Never
Be Defeated”
Beyond the fact that it’s impossible, without other forms of context, to
tell whether this is a pro-war, anti-war, or even anti-protest protest
chant, my issue is that it really doesn’t rhyme, I mean, the “ted” rhymes,
but one is “eye-ted” and the other is “ee-ted” and that’s why it should be
“The People, You United, Will Never Be Excited.” Or Delighted. Invited.
Collided. Something.
“Let Exxon Send Their Own Troops”
A sassy rejoinder! And some would argue they are.
“War Begins With Dubya”
Clever. I suppose “Kwagmire Has A Dubya Too,
If You Misspell It” is too complicated.
"Texas Has Oil, Lets Bomb It Too"
This is funny, Has T-Shirt potential, but brings up memories of Waco.
“Fighting
For Peace Is Like Fucking For Virginity”
It has everything: Sex, violence, profanity. The only thing lacking is a
Bush pun, but I’ll leave that to you at home.
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