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There are so few
massive world-wide protests to partake in, it’s only natural people will
bring some pet side-projects along for the ride. Here’s a handy
guide.
Free Mumia, Peltier
Mumia Abu Jamal and Leonard Peltier are U.S. citizens in jail for murder
(and with Mumia on death row) despite lots of people who really want them
freed, most of whom weren’t born when they were arrested. Mumia, a former
Black Panther and journalist has done a great job promoting his cause, while
Peltier, a Native American, is usually only mentioned by your more hard-core
protester. Sometimes more obscure convicted murderers are also mentioned,
but really, Mumia is at the top of the charts right now.
Note: Neither of them are related
to this war, although one would guess they’d probably be not too much behind
it.
Sweatshops
In the late 90s, American college students started taking note of
something that has been raised by those trying to get American College
students’ attention for years: Some of the clothing manufactured by American
companies is constructed overseas in third-world nations by children living
in horrible conditions, earning just pennies a day. These companies are in
cahoots with many of these corrupt governments to avoid prosecution, and the
US looks the other way. Many people are against this because it’s really,
really bad.
Note: This isn’t related to the
war, either. If Iraq was running sweatshops of note, it’d be added to the
U.S. list of reasons for war, just below “threatening it’s neighbors” and
just above: “Tickling.”
The Confederate Flag
Despite the south losing handedly in the Civil War, the confederate flag
is alive and well on several U.S. statehouses and state flags, thanks to
reactionary behavior during the civil rights movement. The flag is protested
because it represents oppression against African Americans, and the “General
Lee,” the car the Dukes of Hazzard were always jumping over ponds with.
Note: This is related to a war,
just not the Iraq War.
Another Note: If 150 years later,
the south is still hung up over losing the Civil War, do we really think
Iraq won't hold a grudge against us?
Food Not Bombs
This is a group that protests for using the billions spent on things
like wars with Iraq on something very trite, like feeding the hungry in the
U.S. It is fun, however, sometimes to imagine “Smart Beets” being fired from
F-16s, using satellite data to find their way through a city to a Iraqi
military facility, flying into the window and landing atop a cool bed of
cottage cheese.
Note: This is tied to war, if
only because the group name could also be an anti-war slogan.
Globalization
WTO, World Bank, IMF, NAFTA, GATT, NAMBLA, etc. All acronyms for groups that
are responsible for undermining democracy through economic blackmail of
developing countries, costing millions of American jobs and giving thousands
of American yuppies vague memories of how they “took to the streets” during
the “Battle of Seattle” and destroyed several “Starbucks” for various
reasons long since forgotten.
The protests against globalization
were gaining real ground for a while, with international meetings being
disrupted in Germany, Greece, Canada, the U.S… and then 9/11 happened and
protesting felt all awkward, and those self-proclaimed anarchists mellowed
out a bit. But with the war on Iraq, the US is trying to reclaim the New
World Order and push its worldview on, well, the world, so like so many
crickets in the night, out pop the anti-globalization forces, tanned, rested
and ready to dress as sea turtles for some reason.
Note: This is tied to the war,
but tangentially enough that it is used by pro-war people to make fun of the
fractured anti-war forces.
The Environment
Some people seem to think there is
environmental problems going on, what with our dependence on oil, which
leads to global warming, and the US desire for SUVs driving our foreign
policy. They somehow think this has something to do with us having wars in
the middle east, where lots of oil comes from.
Note: These people are all crazy.
Communism
Woah! Look at that! There’s some group at the
other end of the march claiming to be communists! That’s so cool! I read
about them in school, I think. I didn’t think there were any anymore,
though. Wow.
Note: This is tied to the war
because, damn, that one guy has a total commie goatee! Check that shit out!
Diamond Walnuts
There was a walkout by the workers at Diamond
Walnut regarding a pay cut in the 80s, and replacement workers were
immediately hired, and the strike has been going on for over 10 years since.
Note: Don’t feel too bad about
winding up in a march with them, it’s happened to me twice. Seriously. Once
I thought it was an anti-Apartheid demonstration, (you know, boycotting
diamonds), and the other time I was looking for my car.
PETA
People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals,
or PETA are known worldwide for their ardent, nay, even strident, or mayhaps
extraordinarily obnoxious, views on animal rights. All manner of beasts and
foul suffer daily in captivity awaiting painful deaths for science, clothing
or food, and PETA fights this through ad campaigns designed to piss off
people who enjoy science, clothing, or food with eyes, and thus they get to
be on TV. What those who dislike PETA don’t realize is that they are to
activism what FOX is to news – that is, they exist to piss you off.
Note: This is tied to the war because, well, no it isn’t, but
you stuck around their booth for a while because eeew, is that photo really
of chickens?
Drum Circle
These people are protesting, um, not quite sure. They’re chanting
something as they play the drums, and these guys in dreads are hackey-sacking,
which may represent the world community being kicked around on the knees of
Capitalism, while working off the high from the sticky chronic buds of the
90s tech bubble.
Note:
Speaking of bubbles, there’s a group dancing to the drums while blowing
bubbles and laughing at them. They’re so into peace.
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